Getaway

Two weeks ago I encountered a beach in La Union where its history is different from among other beaches that I've gone to. Relatives of a friend of mine told me how a hectare or more used to be water but when the the 1990 earthquake occured. A huge part of water turned into land. According to the residents the seashore is until the church. There are still parts of water in the area but turned into marshes. You are also able to walk on sand even though the beach is miles away. I'm just amazed how the earth can change something in land or water. If that's the case, continental drift can happen again.

It's like I'm seeing people from the past in this town where food could just be picked right at their backyard, where they raise chickens and cows. The only thing you'll hear is the wind and the birds chirping. Another thing about the people who lives near the sea is helping each other by pulling the catch of the day. It's been years since I've seen Filipinos do the "Bayanihan." Residents pull the net and those who comes from back would return up front and it goes on and on until it's at shore. The net contained thousands of fishes but there were more jellyfishes. I don't know what these fishes are but they look more of sword fishes. They have long bodies and long snouts. Women separate them from other species of fishes, then those who helped will get a share of the fishes. But most of them will be sold at the market. I got a taste of the fish, they've given me a whole one. We grilled them by the shore.

This is the life, where you don't need to worry about other people, work and problems. You just need to get away from them sometimes and learn other things from other people.

Rewind 2012

This is my last thought of the year and my notebook's also full so I need another one. This year had changed me a lot. I've found somethings to look forward to in the next years to come. I learned to live alone and away from my family but it made me stronger. It made me crave for what I really love. I've met people, some were great and not so great. I've created friendships that I wouldn't think it would turn out to be successful. A year full of fun and failure but it turned out to be a challenge. It made me know myself and others around me. I've learned to trust and not to trust.

I was like in an independent movie, full of secrets, and intrigues where not everyone could watch it or understand it. It was amazing and not amazing year at the same time. As I write this, I am rewinding all the events that had happened for the past months. An episode of breakdown made it harder for me but I've passed through it. My heart's been broken so many times but not my soul. Still I would like to say Thank you to everyone who'd accepted my quirkiness and to long time friends who tried connecting me but I disconnected for sometime. They inspire me to do more because they're the greatest people in the world. Distance and time cannot break an almost a decade of friendship but it made it tougher because of what our hearts say to each other even if we didn't see eah other that much.

Those rainy days that flooded my way yet I still walked and took me to safety to people who really do care. It's my first time to feel the ickiness of the dirty water just to get home. Those days were not great but some people turned it to humor and bondage. Those traffic days which made me think deeper and not just look but to carefully see more what's around me. It made listen not just to the noise but also to the people. Through those book hunting and author signings which made me happy for sometime. Those broke days and I didn't know where to go and yet I still survived. Those feelings of insecurity and anxiousness should be left before the clock strikes 12.

This is not a new chapter of the book but it must be rewritten. It must be edited. This time there must be more positivity and break the silence inside and bring it on. Let's rock the world tonight!

Have a Happy New Year everyone! See you next year!

The Fault In Our Stars: A Review

Young adult writer like John Green executes his books with humor, heart and life such as how he did with his novel The Fault In Our Stars.  This is not a story about surviving cancer or life itself but it’s how someone remembers you when you are gone. The plot may have ended tragic but the important message is a memory left that must not be forgotten. This is a sad love story like Romeo and Juliet minus the suicide of Juliet but adding cancer as the villain.

Hazel Lancaster being the narrator and the protagonist of this book starts her journey as a 16 year-old thyroid cancer patient. Depression is eating her up so her mom lets her join this support group for cancer kids where he meets 17 year old Augustus Waters who was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at a young age.  His right leg was amputated. The first time they’ve set their eyes on each other, there’s a spark. I know, this book is full of clichés but I love how the author turned them fresh and new since this is a teen love story. They got to know each other: Hazel loves to read and Augustus was an ex basketball player. Her favorite book in this planet is An Imperial Infliction but it wasn’t finished so she emails the author, Peter Van Houten asking how the story ended. No response from him but when it was Augustus turned to email him he responded but did not answer the question either since he also got interested with the book. He’s upset since it didn’t have an ending. 

He proves his love to Hazel by giving his wish to Hazel.  She wants to go to Amsterdam, find the author and finish the novel. They’ve get to experience a dinner and enjoy the sparkling scenery of the Amsterdam Canal and stayed on Hotel de Filosoof. But once they’ve met the author he’s alcoholic, rude and a nasty man. The trip was arranged by his secretary who’s kind and generous enough to fulfill their wish. They left the house of the author angry and frustrated. They went home with some unanswered questions. Some ugly events happened when they went flew back home. Augustus already knew that his end is coming near.  The cancer is spreading throughout his body and she sees him slowly deteriorating.
He died a week after he needed to hear the eulogies of his Hazel and his friend.  This book is a real tearjerker especially when she found out that Augustus wrote a eulogy for her and he needs Van Houten to edit it. The fault is really in their stars: they’re destined to meet but also destined to be apart from life. Death may have ended their love story but it left a legacy of optimism towards her and life.  And I deeply praise John Green for writing this book. It made me laugh and cried more but most importantly it made my mind and heart stimulate of things to ponder and choices to make.

Rate: 4.5/5 

The Frequency of Radiohead

Every once in a while a band with different sound emerges from the deep. A unique music with a certain sadness yet it's still inviting. The voice of Thom Yorke has a timbre of soothness that it goes with his emotions. A soundtrack relatable  to loneliness, melancholia, aloneness, but it has mystery that gives the band its name. The slowness of the instruments played gives effect each member of the band contributes to the voice of the frontman, as he succumb to the lyrics. This band can write songs that pertains a journey through a deep tunnel. The lyrics may have sublimnal meaning and can be interpreted by different listeners. As I listened to them, I haven't notice that a tear was already on my cheek.This is also the soundtrack of who I am, together with Haruki Murakami which contributes to my emotions.

I never stopped listening to them. I grew up listening to them. I'll still be listening to them even when I grow old.

"Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry.."

Thus "Boredom Kills"

I've seen him in the last few days. Invisible yet it has a strong. It slowly tortures you as the time goes by. As hours pass, it succumbs inside me as I lay down to think what I should do.
Thinking! Thinking! Thinking! Sigh!
There's nothing to do, but to toss and turn. All I can do is to wait for me to fall asleep. Do everything in my dream. Hours and hours passed.
It seems like days. This excruciating torture is nothing physical but mentally. It surpasses the brain nerves without even knowing it's even there.
More sigh! More hours had passed and my brains are almost getting fried. There's no one to talk to. It's like I'm inside an asylum, paranoid on just about everything.
I'm starting to stutter, stare at a lot of things and boom, I'll explode into nothingness or yet a question of existence but somewhere else.

Melancholia Is The Name of a Planet

Melancholia is an emotion. It's a feeling of deep sadness and quietness. Amidst hundreds of people out there, one person sits and think of things that are unthinkable. Teary eyed. Unfinished food. Noisy chattering of  people which cannot be understood. Gibberish as it may seem. Amidst the people around, there is melancholia. It's different from depression but it sort of like the same. Amidst hundreds of people smiling, there are other mixed emotions felt at the same time. Cornered by what everybody knows as "compartmentalization." Well not everybody knows this but somehow unconsciously it's there. They're just not aware but they can feel it everyday. The whole day and even in their dreams. The dress that you've only wore once was soaked with you in the river. Floating with flowers in your hand, lifeless like, staring blankly at the sky. Waking up, and not knowingly people are out there. Celebrating your happiness but you know you are not happy. You tried to run away but only unconsciously and not physically. Your white dress slowly floats as if time had frozen. but not again. The green luscious surrounding witnessed your running away stunt. Denying would only make it worse. Somewhere lightyears away, there's a heavenly body behind the sun. Somewhere light years away, it's coming near the planet earth. It's not yet felt for now, but soon it will. Hailstorm, hurricane, flood, heatwave are expected in the future. While you drown yourself with anguish, sadness, bitterness, and frustration from the life you thought was going to be "perfect." It doesn't going to end well well. But it will end right.

It will end the world.  It will end your misery. It's going to cause chaos but in an organized way where no one will be left alive except you. Is this the change you want? If not, then how? From lightyears away there is heavenly body called Melancholia. Should  planet earth be the one to be called that name. You know there are full of people who looks happy but they are not. They are smiling but not either. You are just faced upside down. Or pretending to be... then the collision countdown starts in an hour.

based from the movie of Lars Von Trier                                                                                                                                                           

A Random Poem

She knows that time can never be hers.
And time can never be his.
Distance approach as her tears starts to fall.
She sees the Knight behind her, not towards her.
Oh Knight! She wished of the Fairy Blue’s magic.
“Time be not an enemy, Fairy Blue please send your magic dust.
Send the Knight back to me.
I am falling back into my shadow. When you are lost in
my heart and forever just a dream.”
"If Death is the only answer
then Death I shall call" she said
"If its deathscythte will struck my heart
then forever he is me.. "
The Fairy Blue heard her but it's not her wish
she wants. She wants her to wake up from
the meander she made with the Knight.
She wants to stop the tears and the thoughts
of Death. The Fairy Blue sprinkled the magic
dust..

This poem was written on the 10th of January 2011. This was just suppose to be a connecting ideas with other poets from a social networking site. There is one line from a member then continued by others with their own thoughts. I separated mine and it made sense putting them together. And I don't have a title for it for now. Just sharing it.